death
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On the Guilt of Moving On
This was one of those things I was anticipating in my grief, but couldn’t fully imagine until I had actually experienced it. The memories fade, the pain is less violent. Time works in strange ways, and dulls the edges that were so sharp in those first years. And yet, there are days, like today, when… Continue reading
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Where do the dead go?
All of us who grieve know how difficult the days – sometimes weeks – preceding and following an anniversary, birthday, or special holiday (such as ‘father’s day’ in my case) can be. It may be the case that you mysteriously wake up one morning, feeling tense, irritable, particularly emotional, without understanding the origin of this… Continue reading
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Où vont les morts ?
All of us who grieve know how difficult the days – sometimes weeks – preceding and following an anniversary, birthday, or special holiday (such as ‘father’s day’ in my case) can be. It may be the case that you mysteriously wake up one morning, feeling tense, irritable, particularly emotional, without understanding the origin of this… Continue reading
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All that I Lost in Grief
These two years have been marked by pain and a deep sense of un-rootedness. In losing my father I lost not only a parent but a foundation, a source of love, and the family that I once knew. Death creeps in like the water of a flood and always threatens to crumble all that you… Continue reading
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365 days of grief
One year. One year since I watched my father, the light of my life, take his final breath, and with it mark the end of a chapter in our lives. A new chapter began, that day, one that has since been defined by immeasurable pain, longing, and irremediable regret. Yet it has also been a Continue reading
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Learning to Sit with the Pain of Death
Some days, when I wake up, I don’t have the energy to move beyond the weight of my father’s death – and after nearly 9 months after his death, I have learned that the best way to handle such days is to let myself accept and sit with every inch of the pain. Continue reading
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Seven Months After my Father’s Death, the Pain Grows Deeper Everyday
It has been nearly seven months since I watched my father pass away. And at the six-month mark, half an orbit around the sun, I suddenly felt something I think all people in deep grief fear: I felt for the first time that I was becoming used to my father’s absence. A month and a Continue reading
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Notes on the Inescapable and Irremediable Solitude of Grief (and learning to cherish it)
When my father died, so did a part of myself. Continue reading
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Waiting for Death to Come: my experience with anticipatory grief
In October, 2019, my father was diagnosed with a very rare and terribly aggressive brain tumor which would come to claim his life three years and a month later. At the time of the diagnosis, I was 19 years old. After receiving a first batch of treatments in 2019 and the beginning of 2020, my… Continue reading
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Every Day I Wake Up and You’re Still Gone: on the ugly side of grief
Yesterday morning as I opened my eyes I immediately felt the horrendous weight of grief, death, and loss. This weight pulled me down and erased my desire to face the reality of a world without my father. I knew it would be a terrible day… Continue reading
About Me
My name is Soline and I am a French-American 23-year-old Philosophy student based in Montreal, QC. This is a personal blog dedicated to grief, grieving, and the ways I learn to live with what at times is unbearable.
A Grieving Girl's Blog 